So the other day I saw a pamphlet about abuse and how to get away from it and recognize if you are even in a relationship that is abusive. My question is how do you recognize when you are in an abusive relationship with yourself? Where is the pamphlet or the help line for when you abuse yourself. How do you help a friend who mentally, physically, and verbally abuses their self? How do you stop it if it is yourself and you've just noticed the signs? There are so many ways to abuse yourself, you would think why would anyone ever need someone to help them do it.

This just makes me disappointed...no sad.....no distraught to admit that as humans we don't like change nor do we respond well to it, which makes us destructive. It puts the human race at a standstill, because evolution IS change.

It's about time for me to move. I am like a professional apartment searcher. I can look all day for an apartment online, in the newspaper, in the rent/apartment guides, but I should really & I mean REALLY take the next step in the moving process. My follow through is always waaaaayyyyy too late. Now my happiness or just my sanity rests on me finding a new place to live. I am now starting to shut down to people in my home because I hate living there. I hate coming home to that house. I hate the commute from & to work to that house. I hat how disgusting I have let my room get at that house. I hate the sweet temptations when I'm trying to loose weight at that house. I hate that no one really likes to cook dinner at that house so I come home to nothing really. I hate that I come home late in the evening to find that my cat is hungry & now there's basically no food there to feed her (definitely gotta pick that up today). I hate that there is no television available to watch the majority of the time when I get home out of the 4 tv's there because everyone wants to watch something. I hate that it's in the middle of nowhere, you can't do anything without a car. I hate that I can't put anything wherever I want it. I hate that I can't walk around nude. I hate that I can't blast the music in the morning. I hate that I eat less than 50% of my meals there. Soooooo basically I'm doing A LOT of hating. I mean I am drinking, showering, and brushing my teeth with not water but HATER-ADE. Harboring all those negative feelings and not really expressing them or releasing them can take it's toll on a person. I don't even want to pay the bridge toll, so why would I want to pay an emotional toll. So let me just hit up Craigslist again for the 100th time & actually respond to some of these ads. Wish me luck & that I don't get f***ed.