Okay, the title might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it almost felt like it. The thing is I am currently recovering from pneumonia. So since I am now recovering, you can probably guess that the worst has passed. Which brings me to my point, there was a "worse". In that worse it was extremely hard to breathe. And during that time, even though sleep is always a necessity to survive, it felt optional at that time. I mean my mind was definitely choosing it but the pneumonia & oh yeah I forgot about the bronchitis, with their coughing fits, chose to keep me awake. Insert 5 days of lack of sleep and you've got a nice little recipe for delirium.
delirium-a sudden severe confusion and rapid changes in brain function that occur with physical or mental illness.
So at some point I felt a calm, like I was okay if I died soon, after the agitation and other crazy thoughts subsided. I think we drug stuffed Americans forget that an illness normally gets worse right before it gets better. Like we are expecting that these prescribed drugs are actually miracles. Even miracles take time. So anyways I thought I was pretty close to death, just Cuzco I couldn't sleep. But fortunately here I am alive and getting well. It just makes me appreciate health and think of the things that could make it better,mlike losing weight. Is this my Epiphany? Probably not, but that doesn't mean I won't do things differently. My illness already gave me a head start, since I lost 10 pounds last week being sick, which was strange since I was still eating. I guess I will see how things pan out, but the plan is to do better...to get better.
